ive been thinking a bit abt my gender and stuff zzz i dont rlly gaf anymore abt what im seen or perceived as, as well as what terms n pronouns r used anymore.. thank god for the day i found out what apagender is cause ive never went back since. i think that mmm being biologically female does play an important part in myself and how i am as a person morals n social awareness n all but at the same time i dont rlly think it affects my identity all that much if that makes sense ... i am pretty lucky that i dont gaf at all abt my gender or wtv cause seeing other ppl feel dysphoric must suck ass man. that being said having girl at the end of my roblox user pisses me off sorta PLEASE GIVE ME A FREE USER CHANGE OH MY HOD

they say that nobody knows you better than yourself but like man i dont knooooowwwww..... i mean it does make sense that i dont have random ppl tell me im this or that when everyone has diff perceptions of me but wow im so freaking lost. some ppl dont rlly bother w things like mbtis and enneagrams and whatever labels and well yeah we really dont need to put a label on everything esp as us humans r too complex to be put into a concrete set of rules and stuff but ouhh... having an answer to how and why im the way i am is nice too,,, im throwing myself into a loop w all this typology stuff and at the end of the day it rlly is just all pseudoscience and i prob shouldnt be taking it this srsly huh. its fun reading stuff to pass the time though i cant! deny that!!! but its definitely crazy overwhelming. cant tell if im this or that and i rlly cant quite tell if i fit a certain type or if its just a characteristic that i desire rather than have so . maybe itll come to me naturally at some point maybe im just rushing it but who knows really zzzzz

anyways i was just listening to thsi i feel like whatever this song is about

god i hate generative ai sm its not even funny. its actively deteriorating everyones capability to think how come majority of the population doesn't see that ?????? if you tell me you use chatgpt or gemini or whatever other names it goes under now i think youre genuinely a dumbass and below me idgaf. it's so irritating to me how even the most small questions you could easily google up need to be done on chatgpt like dude..... dont even get me started on the google ai overview oh my god ive done everything i could to disable it but even then it's still there 🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️ -ai might as well be my most typed out thing yet . its still absurd to me how much people are still unaware of gen ai's harms ????????? even the gov is all lets build a ai datacenter this and lets build an ai datacenter that now ughhhhhh i really have no hope for this world anymore

you ever just wait a whole year for a card of your favorite in a supposed series of cards that are supposed to have a hair style change only for them to end up with nothing but colored ends of their hair.. super specific scenario but ohmym god please free me. they just dropped ritsus fs3 and no joke ive been looking forward to this day for soooo soooo long just cause i rlly wanted to see what theyd do w her hair,, mayb they could've done like a little braid or so!!! but nooooo apparently all he gets are the ends of his hair colored blue. oouughhg who knew a little hair color change like this was even a option— i don't remember anyone else to just get a hair color change and nothing else ????????? mayb i should just wait for him to be officially out so i can see the 3d model for myself but oh my god bruh happyele you will die just you wait

i have such a massive problem with feeling like an outcast its like. oh ok. i dooonttt fit in w ppl my age at all it's just so awkwarddddd,,, when i see ppl make friends the first thing they usually ask for r their insta handles and. i don't use my insta. if not that its tiktok and even then im not **that** crazy of a tiktok person and would rather doomscroll on smth like twt instead #sorry i feel so disconnected its driving me nuts. is there hope for a social reject chud like me 🙏🙏🙏im holding on hope that a start at a new school is just what i need and that itll only get better from here but even then ive been anxious as hell just thinking about it these past few days,,, pushing myself to take the initiative is just not like me at all so i havent done anything drastic yet or whatever but i should start doing things soon huh... ive wasted the past 5 yrs doing nothing and before i knew it im closer to college than elementary 🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️i have no identity and no presence in the real world whatsoever it's as if i was a ghost this entire time #help all will pass change is coming

i miss who i was and where i was in elementary so much its not even funny bro what the hell went wrong. oh my god i was looking through old gcs i had and wow. i did have a lot more friends back then huh. i DID socialize back then,, it was funny laughing at the cringey messages i sent at the age of 10 but like. dude i do miss those times #icl umm anyways! today i wasnt really able to get myself up from bed until like.. 7 pm so an unproductive day again as usuall... anywyas that aside ,, ive been scrolling through like possible people schoolmates in my year and wow. nothing interesting so far huh. sorry i really shouldn't have such an ego especially for someone as pathetic as me but its. instinct. i don't know what wrong myself either but!!!!!!!!!! mmm everyone's quite boring but obviously i cant judge a book by its cover ++ there could be interesting ppl i havent found just yet.... ironic for me to call people boring as if i dont end up comparing myself to them anyways and think about how mature they r compared to me #lolzers this way of thinking wont get me far in life definitely

my moods goes to shit so quickly its depressing,, i really dont know anymore uuuuuughhh ive been on and off upset for the past few days now,, i was doing just fine an hour or so ago and now im back to being all existential 👩‍🦯👩‍🦯i feel really cold,, cnat tell if its just colder than usual or a me thing zzz itching my back barely feels like anything it's weird. for some reason all sorts of parts of my skin are getting all irritated and messed up looking too,,,, i thought itd be gone in a few days like every other thing that randomly happens to my body but its been weeks and it's still there.. i look like a mess i hate everything

waahahh i feel like i get a bit too attached to ppl,, constantly wondering what theyre up to and allll.. its not even because of anything crazy like not receiving kindness from ppl all that much cause. i think im on decent terms w practically everybody..!!!!! i could do possibly no wrong and i might as well have no will of my own so zzzz ppl genuinely talking to me voluntarily and not cause they have to,,,,,,, it gets to my head and makes me rlly happy.. is this what being an anti social chud does to a person #help i dooontt know if what i feel is normal but aahhh it's whatever . anywyas that aside im in a decent mood today ^o^ god please let me stay like this wait also i just realized my page has like 500+ views now . thats half a thousand thats terrifying why are so many people perceiving me like this #help #benicetomepls

i woke up abnormally early (7 am) today,, it was raining really really hard to the point it was flooding in the house and i was stuck in the bedroom,, in the end i couldn't go back to sleep but at the same time i was too excited for the very ominous phighting related announcement anyways so i stayed up and watched the major grand finals zzz i was rooting for secret keepers mostly but yuri coalition was my second and they won so!!!!!!!!!!! then the announcement happened . oh my god ive been so hyper the entire day im so freaking excited for new crossroads ++ cmf,, i cant believe ive been into and following phighting for so long now and finally after like. 3 yrs. new crossroads will finally be released..... ah even besides that i think i have a lot too look forward too these next few weeks... things like this r very small and stupid even but it makes me rlly happy. at least for now i am,, other than that i read a bit more of kimihoe and im rlly rlly liking it so far!!!! im finally at peace with the world. now all i need is traitorspace to drop soon and ill be happy #forever also played some roblox (that wasnt phighting for once) w @/dyethellz yesterday hooraaaayyyyy 

this is cheese before their first day at a well renowned prestigious school i hope they don't realize im a big fat CHUD. hello . im so freaking scared but im so freaking excited at the same time.... being stuck in the same school for the past 10 yrs and finally making it out after all this time so im looking forward to a new environment and some new experiences !!!!!!! i wanna change!!!!! maybe!!!!! its still crazy to me cause god i don't know how ive made it this far in life with little to no effort.... ive barely put in any effort all this time and somehow . im here now ???? im scared i really am but im trying my best to be a little positive and look forward to everything .. i wanna make new friends,, get into new things,,, be a little more open .... im hoping for the best i really really am. im praying that maybe the only thing holding me back all this time was the environment i was in and that all i really needed was a change and smth new..... i hope all goes well pls be nice to me #$%!

hello this is cheese after their first day and!!!!! i had a pretty good time!!!!!!!! obviously i didn't have any all that many deep too crazy interactions but that's to be expected since its not like my social anxiety magically disappears at will zzzz i had fun today though!!!!!!!! i really did!!!!!!!!!!!!! itll only get harder from here but i wanna be a little more positive!!! i think this yr will be my comeback... a rebirth of you will (why so corny) i have a lot more hope now 🥹🥹🥹im hoping it does end up well for me .. i rlly do believe that a change in environment and schoolmates was all i needed cause oh my god ive never enjoyed myself so much .. i did happen to see like two former schoolmates outside campus while buying food which #icl made my stomach drop . im very happy i dont have to see majority of them at all anymore though....... screw you all,,,, anywyas!! it was raining really hard ++ crazy ass wind once i left campus but i was able to meet up w a certain guy at a certain neighboring school :33 full of so much joy im happy im content im glad. even if its just for now i rlly am